Can we all take a moment out of our busy schedules to contemplate the plight of the single woman in today’s society?
No, I’m not talking about the single woman who keeps bemoaning the fact that she keeps dating losers, man-children, and the guys who hit it and quit it. I’m also not talking about the single woman who keeps going on about “I need a man who” has a job, isn’t high all the time, won’t beat the crap out of me. Those are entirely different problems.
I’m talking about the single woman who is happy with her life and doesn’t feel that adding a man to the situation will make her happier.
Hi. I’m Jill Horton and I’m single because I want to be.
And I’m sick and tired of hearing “you just haven’t met the right guy yet”. I’ve met lots of perfectly nice men, and I’ve even dated some of them. Hey, for that matter I’ve dated a few nice women, too. I’m just not interested in tangling my life up with someone else.
No, I haven’t had my heart broken. I haven’t been hurt, emotionally or physically by a guy. And my father is a fantastic person and dad, thank you very much.
I’d like people to stop asking me if I’m dating anyone new. I’d like them to stop asking when I’m going to settle down and have a few kids. I’d like people to stop implying that I haven’t grown up just because I haven’t gotten married and/or popped out a baby.
I’d like to know where man who’s been married and divorced multiple times thinks they have the right to question my choice to stay single.
Mostly I’d like people to stop acting like I’m defective because I’m single and in my thirties.
I have interests, hobbies and goals that keep me occupied. I have a job. I’m trying to find a job that will make use of one or both of the degrees that I got while I was busy being single. I volunteer at Sci-Fi/Comic conventions and get to meet some fantastic people that I’d never get the chance to talk to in any other situation. I create things. I craft and I write and I draw. I enjoy going for target practice. I like to get out into nature and take photographs.
I have a life.
And I don’t think I’m missing anything just because I don’t have a man taking up space in that life.
To the women who do feel that something is missing in their lives when they don’t have a romantic partner, I wish you all the best of luck finding a wonderful one.
Just stop treating people like me, who are single because we want to be single, as if we’re somehow defective because we don’t feel like there is a person shaped hole in our lives.
Who knows? I may some day find someone I want to make a space in my life for, and I might want them to make a space for me in their life.
But I’m not going to go man hunting just because we live in a society that says I need one and I should want one.